you illuminate my life.

Wow, I’ve been an emotional wreck these past days but boy did I need to go through this. We all have those days or those periods in our lives when we go through slumps and we feel down. But there’s always a way out!

Recently, there has been an overload of emotions that I’ve been experiencing. All this comes from the fact that I’ve had time to reflect and deal with my past. In the past days, there have been things that have happened that have triggered and stirred up past hurts and points of trauma. 

The past isn’t easy to face and mistakes can often come back to hinder us in making progress to move forward. It often takes a great deal of effort in reminding myself of the fact that my sinfulness doesn’t define me. I know things happen for a reason and often these are the moments that help us to grow and make us the people we are. Summed up in a single word is just one of the many beautiful gifts and reminders that God gives me to show his tremendous love for me - dreams. 

It may seem like a word that goes along well with the words sunshine and rainbows but my dreams are a reflection of God’s love. They are things so completely beyond me and they bring me outside of myself. 

There was a time when my world was so small, so limited, so contrived to my own thoughts and ideals. It centred on my friends but mostly me, myself and I. I was comfortable and didn’t plan on venturing beyond. Mostly out of fear, I was afraid of change and I didn’t think there was anything better for me. I didn’t have dreams of my own, or ambitions. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I didn’t have any plans for myself, it’s just that they were limited. I’d made so many mistakes, I’d been hurt before, I’d experienced disappointment and I was afraid of stepping out into the real world on my own. I wasn’t ready to take that leap of faith. Past relationships and friendships can leave scars. But love mends and love heals, it brings about a sense of freedom. When you are truly free, you experience a real love. Finding God enabled me to gain so much, a richness to life, with much more meaning.  

I remember the day I was finally ready to take that leap of faith. I remember the day I saw the world so differently. I met people who changed my perspective, who opened my heart and who shared their stories. I’d never felt so alive. Out of the many gifts and blessings that the Lord has given me throughout my life, I am always grateful for the desires he places in my heart. It is these desires that enable me to dream, to dream big and to know that I am destined for great things through him, who makes all things possible. 

Even to this day I feel my heart beat so fast and I can’t explain the joy I feel when I dream. Part of this dream is following God’s will for my life. It helps me to understand my purpose, my call to love and my pathway to heaven. He leads me to greater things, he fills my life with light and hope. In times of darkness, of despair or when I’m having those real down days, I feel like I can reach out and look up towards something greater. I know there is more to my life. 

I’ve taken the leap, 

Now I’m seeing new heights. 

I finally start to see. 

Visions shining brighter and brighter. 

You illuminate my life

Let your life be illuminated, let Him lift you higher and let Him show you a love, a life greater than anything you could ever imagine for yourself. 

Love and prayers,

rin.