There are seemingly many questions to ask yourself when determining if a person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It might be surrounding the individual’s work ethic, treatment towards others, personal values, attraction, or being able to completely be yourselves around each other and discuss anything. Whilst these are important components to consider, I recall listening to a Jason Evert talk numerous years ago. He mentioned that the word ‘compatible’ originates from the Latin word ‘compati’ – which means ‘to suffer with.’
Therefore, to anyone discerning whether a potential partner or someone they are dating is their future spouse, my question to you is ‘do you suffer well together’?
This is a heavy question that might not be answered quickly or revealed right away. I dated my fiancé straight out of high school and have been in a relationship for 6 years. Within those 6 years, I have been able to see how my partner suffers, how I suffer, and how we suffer together. The challenges in both of our lives and our relationship brought light to his character and virtues, as well as him being able to realise how I manage difficulties too.
These experiences were crucial to imagining what our future would look like married to each other. I did not have to guess about how he would react in various situations, or how we would solve problems together. It was clear and there was no room for assumption. When we say our vows, we are saying “yes” to faithfulness to each other, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and to honour each other, all the days of our lives. The gravity of saying these vows should encourage everyone to truly reflect upon if they are with the right person because these vows cannot be taken back.
Here are a few questions I found in an article to ponder with.
· Who do you want holding your hand when the results say “cancerous?”
· On whose shoulder do you want to lean on when the doctor says, “We’ve done all we can.”?
· With whom do you want to lie beside when you do not know where your child is or if they will ever come home?
· When your world turns upside down, in whose eyes do you want to look into?
I do not have the answer to whether the person you are seeing or are in a relationship is the person God has planned for your life, but I hope these prompts offer greater clarity and guidance in helping you decide. May you have peace knowing that whatever is thrown your way in the future, you will suffer well together.
ayah.
Question from here.
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