Perhaps every year, I find myself writing that whatever year it is, it has brought about change. I mean it’s true, things do change as nothing ever stays the same. However, this year has felt like so many big changes have happened in my life - and it’s only January! It makes me recall a time not too long ago when I was having a conversation with my sister, telling her that I couldn’t imagine things changing so much given our life had generally been pretty stable - living in the same house, same job, same friends, etc. Not that having any of those things staying the same were bad - it’s just that I couldn’t imagine things any different from what has been familiar to me. Well, perhaps this was answered in the year of 2022, career, living situation, family dynamics and friends. I will say that many of these things have started changing for me - and it’s somewhat harder to swallow and digest than in previous years.
Let’s say there’s been something that has eased this discomfort, a kind of antidote to this indigestion (of change). It has been the 90-day Fiat challenge. (For those of you who don’t know what this is, it involves being a little more observant and lessening distractions to make God a more central focus.) How is it an antidote you ask? Well, because it has made me more inclined to be more attentive of how God is working in my life, more inclined to the graces He is lavishing upon me, despite the challenges of these variations to my ‘normal’ life. So a few days ago, having listened to Christian music and podcasts made me decide to tune into the Poco A Poco Podcast. I chose a random episode and found myself soaking up the Franciscan brothers’ discussion of how, “God is enough”. And it hit me again, this realisation that it doesn’t really matter how many times we are told this, nor how many times we remember this, we seem to keep forgetting this important truth that He IS enough despite whatever changes come our way. Thankfully, I was reminded that I am not alone in this memory lapse as one of the Brothers said, he also sometimes has difficulty in believing this truth. That, what if God doesn’t turn up and redeem the situation, what if He leaves me alone and desolate, what if He doesn’t rescue me?
You see, perhaps I have written about this before and clearly at the introduction of this post, I mentioned all those changes… that has felt like more than I can swallow! However, the truth of the matter is God is a bigger deal than all of this change. Via also highlighted it in the last post - God is the only constant. The only one who has never disappointed, who has somehow given me a moment of peace and quiet when I am bawling my eyes out in the middle of the night; or the one who stirs a new conviction in my heart to have hope when I have hit rock bottom without any clue of what to do next. There are so many things that feel out of our control and more than we can handle; but there’s solid truth in the Bible. From Genesis, we have followed the thread of pain, brokenness and change and yet God always turns up and makes things better. I remember a very wise priest giving the example of David and Goliath - David was the one with the real strength, he was anointed and had God on his side. What about us? We have been anointed, marked as Christ’s and have had Jesus win us the biggest battle over death. Yet I still doubt, of course we do, but the beauty is, we can choose to believe that God will turn up and be our strength to win those small battles with doubt. It is a daily thing, a daily renewal of trust and in believing that God WILL turn up.
I am in the middle of change and no doubt there is still some element of being in the process of committing to trusting that God will show up in this. Funny thing is my heart believes it, yet my mind tries to tell me otherwise. However, it seems fitting that I am participating in these 90 days of Fiat. Ninety days where I can renew my ‘yes’ every day and believe that God will prevail and He will always show up.
maya.
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