Mary. “Sea of bitterness” or “sea of sorrow” is what is said to be the meaning of this name. I don’t know about you, but I was quite surprised to discover this, expecting something perhaps a bit nicer than what was already stated before my eyes. Even still, I tried to unpack a deeper meaning to this, but it’s kinda difficult to work with the words “bitter” and “sorrow” and see it in a positive light. Maybe you can, I don’t know, but I’m just a young girl who is still pretty clueless about a lot of things. Maybe though, the meaning behind this name can highlight a few of many emotions Mary experienced in her time and in relation to us.
Mary was just 14 when she was visited by the angel Gabriel and gave her big ‘yes’ to God in conceiving, giving birth to, and raising Jesus. 14 years old and she was courageous enough to accept the Lord’s will and devote her life to Him. I’m 19 and I’m still a little afraid of where God may be leading my life, but I know I must trust in Him, just as Mary did with her own life. At such a young age, I’m sure Mary would have experienced the same emotions we do all the time - maybe just not as intense. I compare myself to Mary and think about how she must’ve handled all these hardships so graciously and humbly. Every so often there’s going to be something that will tick me off and I don’t always go about solving it in a good manner.
Even now, it feels like I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life, and I really question why it had to be now. Why didn’t I listen to others and avoid this situation earlier? Why did I let myself get so far into this? Yet all this anger and uncertainty bottled up inside me really doesn’t help, and I find myself falling back into this hole of despair. Over and over I repeat this cycle - one day I’m happy, the next I’m crying my heart out, then releasing my anger by singing angry/hate songs and filling my head with negative thoughts. The problem is I’m not facing my problems, I’m only making it worse by running away from it, covering it up and pretending it’s nothing big - curled up in bed watching YouTube videos, or binge watching dramas should do the trick - or does it? No. Maybe for a short while, but it’s bound to creep back up on me in the future, and that’s not okay. The bitterness and sorrow in my heart should never conquer over the love and happiness I have and deserve.
There’s always something to be happy about, but it’s okay to grieve or be upset - sadness does come before happiness, just like that quote says, “there’s always a rainbow after the storm.” You’ve probably heard this one too many times, but we all were created in God’s image, to love and to be loved. Mary is a perfect reflection of God’s image, and we can truly see God in her. Even in her sorrow, she lifted it all up to God and trusted in Him, without fail. She was just a young girl when God first called her (although she was already called since birth), yet instead of rejecting Him out of fear, she accepted His will out of pure love and trust. At the foot of the cross she accepted and carried on living out her life for God. Sorrow does not last forever, and I believe we can all overcome our struggles if we only strive to be courageous and humble just like Mary. With her help, I believe my battle is almost won, and I pray for you too, my sisters, that you will also overcome yours through her and with her.
nica.
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