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Writer's pictureby esther.

an absent presence.



I am a certified homebody. I love being at home. It baffles me when people say they can't stay at home, that they get bored and restless. Whenever people would say that about their isolation, I would basically delight in all the things I could do if I had to stay home. It's essentially the opposite for me, I'm in my absolute comfort zone at home and sometimes, even very productive. As the one week really flew by, I was barely longing to go out besides to get to Mass of course, and for one more thing – to go for a walk outside, staying at home made me realise how much I enjoy doing so. It's funny how it is only when things are stripped away from us that we realise how much we love and long for them. It was that way for the walks and it's just like that with almost anything and anyone. It may be a person, a hobby or a job - we take things for granted and we do that with God too. You only know you love them when you let them go. And we know this all too well, but it takes little or big things to remind ourselves.

After all, isn't this what Fiat 90 is all about? Falling away from the distractions and drawing closer to God. Had I been in isolation before Fiat 90, my 7 days would probably be filled with snacking, rom coms and k dramas. But we're human, our attention span is shocking. I can't tell you all the things I've done whilst being in an online uni tutorial. I may be present and listening to some extent, whilst I'm sewing or writing assignments. We distract ourselves. We want to be productive. And being productive isn't bad, it's great. But sometimes, we just need to be present. That's what God is asking of us and Fiat 90 is a great way to live that out.

It is tough. Tougher this year than the last in my opinion. You see, whenever I'm going through something, I like to relax by watching something light and funny, hence the rom coms and k dramas. And let me tell you, Fiat 90 started less than a month ago and yet, so much has happened in that time. But if I’m not watching or eating as much as I normally would, doesn’t that leave me more time to think, to talk to my family and friends and to pray? Absolutely. Does it make it easier? Not always. But it does help to put my mind (body and soul) in the right place, and that’s a great start. I can only speak from personal experience, but Fiat 90 can really help to foster the relationships in your life, with God, the people around you and yourself. My challenge to you is to try this out yourself, maybe you can choose one thing from each of the three categories, maybe you can do it for less than 90 days but let me remind you, it is not easy and sometimes, we may fail. But all that matters is that we try again, and we try for the right reasons, for the right person – for the Lord.





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